One of my main goals for 2023 is to stop needing reassurance. I dont know about you or if this is normal but i spent the last year feeling bad and needing to explain basically everything in my life. How I spend my time, why I have a boyfriend, why I spend time with him, why I have a busy schedule, why I have the feelings I do. When I make new friends I feel like I have to justify why because what if someone thinks I am trying to replace them or something. Literally everything I do I felt like I needed to justify.
Before I got my hip surgery I was honestly a mess. I felt like I needed to justify everything to everyone and constantly people please to get reassurance. After having to spend 2 months recovering by myself and away from school, I realized how much I actually had control over in my life and how most things I do, do not have an effect on other people peace or wellbeing. I realized that I can make decisions and not need to make sure that decision is okay with every single person in my life. I can get bangs JUST CUZ I WANT BANGS, it’s not hurting any one.
I am excited to go into this year prioritizing my wellbeing, protecting peace, and being renewed. To do this I am learning that it is important to have mental and emotional boundaries around the decisions I make and over what I want to share. If someone has something to say about how I live my life, I don’t need to drop everything to please them, I can instead respect the boundaries I have set up for myself.
I realized that in the end living for other people does not pay off in the end. When you live your life trying to please other I found that I really lost who I was and was so defined by what people wanted from me.
A big part of not looking for reassurance is trusting yourself. And a big part of trusting yourself is building a healthy relationship to yourself. Are you someone that you can spend time with, without being torn apart? Are you someone that you can spend time with that is going to nourish your body instead of pick on it? Are you someone that has your best interest in mind? It can take a lot of facing hard feelings and breakdowns to get to the point were the answer to these questions are yes. But when you are able to trust yourself and are secure in who you are it creates the ability to be secure in the decisions you make.
I hope that we can move forward in the year together making decisions that we know are best for us without needing reassurance from every single person we know! It takes time to find a good balance but I think we got this;)