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I feel like right now I'm in a season of healing and being restored by the Lord. I think that one misconception people have about healing is that its all an upwards climb where in reality its way more of a rollercoaster. There can be really really good days and really really tough days. It also takes facing a lot of really hard emotions.

Recently, while I was physically healing from my hip surgery I was forced to slow down and i was really bored. And for for those of you with anxiety, boredom is like a nightmare. I was alone with my thoughts. All of the things I pushed down and ignored by staying busy i literally could not ignore anymore. Past trauma's that still affects me now, major questions i had in my faith, all of the lies i was believing about who I was, so so so many things. I spent a lot of nights crying and crying out to Jesus because sometimes healing seems so impossible.

But as of now I can see how even though those nights sucked and I had to actually feel the feelings I had been avoiding, they helped face what I was avoiding and start healing. I don't think I would have been able to truly move forward if I didn't have those nights. Sometimes, the tricky thing is (and keep in mind i am no therapist) finding out what can trigger things that were traumatic. Like you can be having a perfectly fine day and someone can say one little thing and all the sudden boom your spiraling and panic. Now thankfully through therapy I have been able to learn how to calm my panic attacks but it is still hard to retrain your brain that you are safe and okay.

Something I have found helpful for healing is talking to the people who are close to me what triggers me and also how to help me calm down. A lot of things are hard to not only face but even harder to talk about. There is so much power in having a solid support system that can help reassure and help you through those moments.

Another thing is not being afraid to build the boundaries that you need to build and let people know when something makes you uncomfortable. This is something can add a lot of stability and trust within yourself. Knowing that you have the power to say no or remove yourself from places that you don't feel comfortable and THAT IS OKAY.

Also flowers...Flowers help to:)

““And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭28‬-‭30‬ ‭

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